Literary Deviance: On Hiatus

•29/01/2009 • Leave a Comment

Effectively immediately, Literary Deviance is going on hiatus.

I know. The four of you are shocked, and hurt, but it’s for a good cause.

Some friends of mine and I are looking into getting some webspace. This means that the things I post would actually be my own, that the writings I put out won’t become the worldwide, non-exclusive property of WordPress. No offense, WordPress, it was fun while it lasted, but I think I’m callin’ it quits for now.

I’ll post the link up as soon as there is one. See you on the web!

News: Friday, January 2nd, 2009

•03/01/2009 • Leave a Comment

Well, that’s odd. That’s not the same year I put in the subject line last week.

I hope everyone’s New Year celebration was as enjoyable as mine. I spent the entirety of the night playing video games until way too late with good friends. What more could you ask for?

Two more VDDs (Vault Dweller’s Diary, for those of you playing at home) up tonight, largely because the first one was kind of a bullshit entry. You may notice that one came well before the other; some personal stuff interfered, and the bullshit entry was up well before I was actually done with the real entry. Sorry about that. Hope I didn’t keep anyone waiting (heh, as if).

Rain, Chapter 3 is coming along decently, but more importantly, the next section of the Tanka Epic is in the draft phase! So, fingers crossed that that comes out before this quarter kicks my ass too hard.

See you all soon!

Tuesday, August 28th, 2277

•03/01/2009 • Leave a Comment

Well, I’m still alive. Let’s recap.

Yesterday, I decided to take a hike down to the Super-Duper Mart to find some food and meds for Moira’s book. After about an hour of walking, I crested a large hill and saw the burned-out remains of what was probably once a superstore. As I snuck down a little from the top, I spotted a couple of raiders out front of the store. They hadn’t seen me, so I did my best to sneak down to their position. From what I could see, they weren’t well-armed, probably just pistols at best. Those assholes never even saw me coming. Just as I was getting ready to pick them off from afar, I saw a couple of military-looking types in leather with white talons on them run in and open fire. I swear, they didn’t stop to chat; they just cut the raiders down. Those mohawked jerkoffs didn’t stand a chance.

As the smoke cleared and the fine red mist was touching the ground, one of the Talons glanced up, right at me. He turned and said something to the little guy with the big gun. He looked over at me, too, but neither one opened fire. I took that as a good sign, like maybe they were some kind of civil militia or something. One of those groups that tries to bring law back to the Wasteland by dispensing hot death to those who have most earned it. Besides, if they were going to shoot me, they already would have. So, like  a jackass, I walked out and around the fence, gun at my side and pointed down. The little guy with the big gun called me over by name; I should have known that was a bad sign, but I guess my experience with homicidal manics has been minimal (I seldom met Amata’s dad).  I at least had the good sense not to get any closer. He told me that he and his gang (Talon Company, it seems) had been hired to kill me, that goody two-shoes like me got shot in the Wasteland. I tried buying them off, but they just laughed.

Something to know about me: I hate people getting the drop on me. So while they were laughing, I brought the rifle to bear and put two bullets in the neck of the guy that had initially spotted me. His laughter quickly turned to wet choking sounds as blood, more red than I’d ever seen it, poured out. I dove behind cover before his buddies could get their bearings together and return fire (but damn, it was close). I never, before that firefight, realized how tough leather armor was, but believe me when I tell you that that was the longest firefight I have yet been involved in. I only managed to kill three of them, out of (I think) eight, including the one I caught off-guard.

The real problem started when I realized that I’d dived behind a car. That train of thought continued when I realized the engine block had caught fire, since there must have still been some fusionable material in it. Figuring I had only a couple of seconds before it exploded, I took off at a low run, trying to zig-zag enough to get shot. It almost worked, too.

I felt this hot pain in my left calf, like a really huge bee sticking its barbed stinger as far as it would go into the muscle. I stumbled and fell down, into some bushes (mercifully) which provided some cover. I did my best to crawl on, but I could hear gunshots and the sounds of pursuit behind me. Sure enough, that car went up like a smaller version of the bombs which scourged this land 200 years ago. Unloading the remainder of the existing assault rifle magazine behind me blindly resulted in the incredibly satisfying sound of wet flesh dropping abruplty onto the dry, hard ground. Between that and the car’s fusion engine going up, I think they were stalled just long enough that I managed to crawl into a thicker dead shrub just long enough to wrap a piece of my shirt tightly around the gunshot. After that, it was nothing but hours of trying to stay ahead of them; those Talon Company Mercs are relentless.

Last night, I tried leaving that message. Unfortunately, I was interrupted mid-sentence by the rest of the Talon Company wankers. The firefight which ensued very nearly resulted in my death, I don’t mind telling you. I took two more bullets, one in the shoulder and another in the chest (but nothing vital, gratefully, and my lung didn’t collapse from the sudden pressure change). On the other hand, I killed the three that had been pursuing me.

Yeah, I said three. Do the math, that tallies seven of eight dead, if my memory serves me properly. So either one of them died when that car went up, or one of them went back to report the failure to their superior. Either way, I know I killed the head of this particular squad; I recognized his face among those last three bodies. Or, what was left of it once I was through. I took his armor, as it seems to be remarkably sturdy. He also had a note on him, about killing me. I apparently pissed off some of the Wasteland’s shadier assholes, and they decided I was too much of a liability to leave alive. I  think this has something to do with saving Megaton and killing Burke. I should know better than to ruffle feathers by now, I lived in a Vault for nuke’s sake.

I made it back to Megaton somehow between the last ambush and now. I’m resting and recovering right now. Hopfeully, by the time I try again, I’ll be okay, the Talon Company will leave me alone, and the raiders won’t be on guard anymore thanks to their scouts dying. This might yet prove to be an interesting excursion again.

Monday, August 27th, 2277

•01/01/2009 • 1 Comment

Oh, God, they’re after me. Can’t build a fire. Have to be careful they don’t see the light from my Pip-Boy. If my body is found, know that I was killed by the Talon Company. I don’t know what I did to– oh, shit! <indecipherable>

News: December 28th, 2008

•28/12/2008 • Leave a Comment

Happy New Year, kids, if I don’t talk to you again before then.

Two new recipes grace the Food section of my blog now, my famous Overwhelmingly Chocolate Brownies and Buttercrust Apple Pie, both of which have received the Official Roommate Seal of Approval (whatever that’s worth). Check on the right side for the link to the Food section.

More Vault Dweller’s Diary oncoming, and I’ve finally started work on the next chapter of Rain, so that’s still a ways out.

Don’t get too drunk on New Year’s Eve; you’ll probably have work the next day!

Buttercrust Apple Pie

•28/12/2008 • Leave a Comment

This recipe, the base of which was not my original creation, has been revised to a finer point by yours truly. Play with some of the spicing to your tastes (it should be easy, since you’re making the mix separately from the apples). The butter, poured over the lattice crust, fries the crust while it bakes to a beautiful golden-brown finish every time.

Ingredients:

  • 9-inch double pie crust (store-bought is fine, or use your own recipe)
  • 1/2 c. unsalted butter
  • 3 T. flour
  • 1/4 c. water
  • 1/2 c. sugar
  • 1/2 c. brown sugar
  • 1/2 t. ground cinnamon
  • 1/4 t. ground nutmeg
  • 1/4 t. ground cloves
  • 1 t. vanilla
  • 6 Granny Smith apples (cored, peeled, and sliced)*

*20 oz. apples also work perfectly well, but due to the increased size, you’ll want to use fewer apples.

Preheat your oven to 425ºF. Melt the butter in a small saucepan, then stir in the flour to form a paste. Add the water, sugars, and seasonings, then bring to a boil. Reduce temperature and simmer until you’re ready for it. When the mixture has deepened slightly in color to a caramel brown, pour about half to two-thirds of the mixture over the apples and toss until the apples are evenly coated. Place your bottom pie crust in your pie plate and fill with the apples, mounding slightly. Cut the other pie crust into strips and create a lattice over the apples. Pour the remaining butter mixture over the lattice and onto the apples (careful not to spill). Bake for 10-15 minutes, then reduce the temp to 350ºF and bake for another 30-45 minutes (until the apples are soft). Let cool in pie plate until the pie is at room temperature before serving.

Leftover apples can be eaten out of the bowl, or made into a delicious applesauce. Serve with fresh whipped cream or vanilla ice cream, or just on its own!

Overwhelmingly Chocolate Brownies

•28/12/2008 • Leave a Comment

Ever want brownies that weren’t too sweet, but had a wonderfully deep chocolate flavor? These are your brownies. A recipe of my own devising, three kinds of chocolate sate the hedonistic desires which lay dormant in all of us.

Ingredients:

  • 1 c. unsalted butter
  • 2 oz. baking chocolate
  • 3-4 oz. dark chocolate (greater than 60% cacao)
  • 1 c. flour
  • 1/4 t. salt
  • 3/4 c. cocoa
  • 4 eggs
  • 2 c. fine granulated sugar
  • 2 t. vanilla extract

Preheat your oven to 350ºF. In a small saucepan, melt the first three ingredients together over low heat, stirring occasionally to keep it from burning. Combine the flour, salt, and cocoa in a small bowl and set aside. Crack all four eggs into a large mixing bowl and beat until fluffy. Add sugar by the 1/2 cup, beating until blended each time. The sugared eggs should be thick by the time you’re done with them. Blend in your butter/chocolate mixture and the vanilla extract. Gradually fold in the dry ingredients until thoroughly mixed. Pour into an ungreased 13×9 baking pan and bake about 25 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out with some moist crumbs. Let cool in pan before cutting, else your brownies will fall apart. Try serving with some vanilla ice cream (I prefer French Vanilla, thanks to the smooth vanilla bean taste) and/or fresh raspberries.

News: December 26th, 2008

•26/12/2008 • Leave a Comment

Happy Boxing Day, y’all. Hope your servants enjoyed playing at being the lords and ladies.

Just popping in to inform everyone that I managed to bang out another Vault Dweller’s Diary for your viewing pleasure. Hopefully, there will be more to follow in the coming week. If I don’t publish again before then, have a Happy New Year!

Sunday, August 26th, 2277

•26/12/2008 • Leave a Comment

Looking back at the events of the past few days, I can say this much with certainty: I kept Moira happy.

As fortune would have it, when I was in my bomb defusing trance on Thursday, I didn’t notice my Geiger counter trying to warn me that I was soaking up rads like a Ghoul’s nadgers. She had said that she’d wanted me to get irradiated for her Wasteland Survival Guide, but I don’t know if she’d wanted me quite so glowing.

I woke up on Friday, vomiting. At first, I thought it was just the previous night’s experiences come back to haunt me. But when I ran my hand through my hair, a clump of the stuff stayed there, along with more than a little skin. Panicked, I ran to Moira. She turned her own counter on me, and it sounded like ten-thousand tiny gnats playing the maracas. I’d apparently soaked up in excess of 600 rads. She was so excited to examine the effects that she barely stopped to talk to me before she broke out the equipment. An hour of tiresome questions and measurements with questionably clean instruments later, she gave me some kind of shot and a glass of Brahmin milk (those two-headed cows that seem to have replaced the single-headed variety). The shot felt warm in my veins. The milk was nice and cold, and tasted kind of nutty. It didn’t take long for me to start feeling better.

The worst of it was yet to come, as it turns out. When I asked Moira how I was, she hesitantly replied that I had developed a “slight mutation” as a result of my exposure. Apparently, during the course of the exam, she “slipped” with a scalpel and cut my arm. Funny thing is, I didn’t even notice, as the cut healed itself in a matter of seconds. I just tried it again myself, and it didn’t work. Guess I need to be irradiated for it to work. Well, Moira gave me a nice bonus to say “sorry for twisting up your DNA like a kitten with a ball of string.” It’s surprisingly easy to imagine a Moira-kitten all tangled up in string.

The shot she gave me apparently flushed the radiation from my system and put me well on the path to recovery, but due to the severity of my exposure, I still wasn’t 100% yesterday. I spent the day in my new house, taking it easy. My Mr. Handy is named Wadsworth and, like the whole line, he’s been given a snobby British accent. However, despite his obnoxious tone, I’ve grown to like having him around. He’s a lot more stable than that psycho-bot Andy, and he can generate purified water fro me on command (a comfort when I was recovering from radiation sickness). He also tells some truly abyssmal jokes. I think his programmers fished them out of a pre-war pun book. Every once in a while, he’ll refuse to tell a joke on the grounds that his “humor emitter array requires recharging.” I think that’s supposed to be a joke, too; I have no idea what a humor emitter would be, much less why he would need an array of them.

The upshot of taking yesterday off was that it gave me time to proces everything. According to Moriarty’s file on Dad, he went to the Galaxy News Radio station. I’ve been listening to the station for a while, and Three Dog seems to have confirmed that he met my father. Moira’s maps show the station being smack in the middle of downtown. As it stands right now, I have neither the experience nor the equipment necessary to make it through that area. It is apparently an all-out warzone full of raiders and Super Mutants. I need time to get some survival experience and some better equipment, and from where I’m sitting, the best way to do that right now is to help Moira write this guide of hers. I’ll learn about the Wasteland during my exploits, and she’s been promising me some pretty nice tech for helping her.

She’s excited about the prospect of me helping her. I think the first thing I’m going to do is follow up this lead in the Super-Duper Mart to the northeast of Megaton. Jericho tells me it’s likely to be swarming with raiders, so I traded some of the stuff I scavved for some 5.56 ammo and Stimpaks (a wondrous invention, basically adrenaline and blood plasma in a syringe). Tomorrow, I set out for the Super-Duper Mart; tomorrow, I take my first step toward finding Dad. Here’s to hoping.

News: December 23rd, 2008

•24/12/2008 • 2 Comments

First of all, Merry Almost-Christmas. Happy Channukah. Whatever you celebrate at this time of year, enjoy it.

Alright, I’m sorry it’s been so long since my last writing. For the twelve of you that actually check this thing, please try to understand: at school, my brain is constantly engaged, leaving little time for the writing. At home, I’m always working, leaving little time for the writing. But hopefully, between Christmas Eve and Boxing Day, I should put up some more Vault Dweller’s Diary/Rain/Tanka Epic. We’ll see!

But for now, good night. I have work in the morning.